Enlightenment
After years of debilitating ascetic practice, ex-royal Gautama sat down under a fig tree and got serious. He sipped at a bowl of rice offered from the heart of a random stranger, endured the ridicule and rejections of his closest friendswho called him a sell-out, fluffed up a pile of dry grass upon which he sat down. He vowed not to move from that spot until he attained enlightenment or died. Determination, relentless effort, surrender, and wisdom in no action at all. He is said to have sat for 49 days. In the Zen tradition services are held for the deceased for 49 days on which day the deceased moves on to their karmic destiny or rebirth or nirvana. On the 49th day ~3000 years ago Gautama awakened and here we sit.
We’ve created a heroic story about a man who overcame suffering and delusion. In the mythical account of the enlightenment Gautama defeats the demon/god Mara who, armed with the slings and arrows of fear, lust, pride, etc., was unable to penetrate Gautama’s iron-clad peace. Mara plays various roles, it seems, in the Buddhist cosmology. He is a god of death and destruction. He is Lord of Illusion, the Senses and Evil. Mara’s children are Thirst, Aversion and Desire. That such diverse powers are assigned to this figure is telling. The title I find most intriguing is “Lord of Limitation.”
Fear of death is a limitation. Fear of death is essentially fear of change. Though I witness inevitable, unstoppable change happening around me, constantly, the deepest most entrenched part of this ego refuses to see myself as part of the flow of change. Not that I don’t know that it’s happening but I have trouble accepting that it applies to the current construct “I.” So “I” continues the futile struggle with change. I trip myself up and tumble again and again into relentless rebirth and delusion trying to hold on to what can’t be held (impermanence). I sit battling Mara trying to hold on to all the things I think I want, the memory of pleasure long past, longing for a future that that may never exist, pretending that this box I’ve built in my mind is all there is and can ever be.
[Note to self: What are you wanting to say about limitation? Get out of the mind box.]
What does enlightenment look like for us? It can’t possibly be the same as that of a young Indian man who lived 3000 year ago. There is no way to recreate this scene and even if we did by nature it is never the same. Our karma and “stories” are undeniably different. Still, Gautama concluded and his legacy insists that whatever the Buddha achieved is available to all of us.